What really matters!

An honest confession: I have restricted knowledge about the Govt. Lokpal and the Jan lokpal bill. All the knowledge I have about the two bills is from the different blogs and articles I have been reading since past few months. I am an ordinary citizen and all I know about the movement is that the huge corruption scams need to end. I do not know if the clauses in Jan Lokpal bill are that strict as Ms.Arundhati Roy mentions that even a poor lady street hawker will be summoned for paying bribe to let her shop be established in the streets where street hawking has been banned. Yes, Ms Roy because this is illegal. Since street hawking is banned in those streets it definitely calls for summon. Who better than us know about what illegal immigration is? Hence let’s not even go there.
My point here is the cynics who are trying to relate the anti-corruption movement with all the possible problems the country is facing. The irony of Irom Sharmila is not with the ignorance the country holds about her or the cause she is fighting against. The irony lies in the support her people are providing. Let Manipur unite and bind with her and let the roar be heard. Haven’t the then little known state of Assam in 1985 achieved the unachievable with Assam accord? I believe no state is neglected until we chose to do so. What is the population of Manipur/NE? How many are affected by the AFSPA? Do we then need a Ramlila maidan or a Jantar mantar to have our voices heard?  But nevertheless this is just my point of view in this issue.
Getting back to the Lokpal bill again, new developments have surfaced. I see even the corrupt lot has been joining the bandwagon. However, a sincere request to Mr.Deve gowda –Sir, please do not make a mockery of the system by holding I am Anna placard and shouting corruption must end. May be you haven’t yet read the anti-graft bill like the many of the ignorant yet supportive lot like me. Pranab Mukherjee is at the helm of affairs as per the latest development and I wish they reach a consensus. Bend a little Ms. Bedi, Mr. Kejriwal , we need something. (Though I feel traumatic to hear the 70%-90% quantification as it reminds me of my dissertation. 2/5 Research questions answered, 3 more to go…God knows how to answer them...) Nevertheless, this has been a long and historic protest which will be remembered by the generation. Let us be proud of the movement, let nothing come in between. If wikileaks is true I believe we will be able to rein Kanimozhis, Razas and Kalmadis well before their Swiss visits. This is my understanding of Lokpal bill. I want it because I do not want the valiant effort of all the people involved in CWG to be marred by corruption. I do not want a BBC or a CNN to mock the system. I do not want the relief cheques to bounce… I do not want Naxalism as I would never want a Koda or anyone at the helm of affairs to ever be given a chance. Yes this is what matters to me. If any of the bills can stop it I would happily be an Anna, Aruna Roy or a Kejriwal. Just let it not be an ego war.  

To the civil society!

There are certain issues with whom you would like to break your so-called hiatus...This is definitely not the one. 9^th August will remain as the day I would never like to forget. To see young teens making a mockery of the civil society and making everyone believe that whether you are under a glass ceiling or an asbestos roof the difference lies only in the view. Does this show us the fragility of the civil society that we boast of? Let me start by defining civil society. I will quote a commentator on BBC Manchester radio; he says the civil society is the one who doesn’t do things just because he/she would be put behind the bars and would bring a shame, a civil society is the one who just would never do it. Rightfully agree I would never put myself in a situation where just because I have nothing I would go and put Miss Selfridges on fire or loot the Apple store. I mean why on earth. To me if you fight for something you just fight not loot. There is a bigger name to things that you do for your society and it’s called ‘Revolution’. How Egypt showed to the world what revolution is, making the whole world stand as ‘Egypt’ is something that is civilisation to me.  History is made by these revolutions some still on for becoming one. I hope the lads looting the shops and putting some to flames knew more of Che Guevara and Fidel Castro than just being a popular face in their favourite tees.

It is never like I don’t have solidarity with kids having no work or haven’t ever been on a holiday in their life (which is actually an issue of grave concern in UK, unlike our country where all you need to do is just hop on a train and ‘pohuch gaye dilli’ [and you reach Delhi]). Nevertheless not losing focus like I always do, I will stick to my point. Thousands of foreign students come for the quality British higher education –the Oxford, the Cambridge and the LSE and within the same radius thousands of them deprived of education took on to the streets breaking the glass ceilings. I have a notion of society being ruminating due to certain things we tend to ignore, may be the notion of working early and earning bucks. Too early to even predict something like that...the issue I see here is the idea of the paper news-paper, the bookshops, the debates, the quizzes, and the cultural activities are limited. The stratification of society is huge. I can still find a child working in a local eatery in India with the morning local newspaper; the event looks small but for me it depicts a culture, a positive society. We may be lagging some 10-15 years well behind the developed nations, hurled by corruption and what not but all I want to say is that for a civilisation the true test lays in the generation the country brings out... to make them worthy of hurling an abuse instead of a stone is what civilisation is, as Sigmund Freud rightly puts in.

I hope the water cannons push you back young lads to something that you have left behind, to a society your ancestors have built; to the things you are and should be proud of, to the civilisation and being civil. 
...to traverse the horizon is never impossible neither is traversing back. 

Common-wrath games!!

I was walking past by my college to attend a lunch invite' by a friend of mine. The stretch from my PG to the nearest market is some 3-4 kms. Pardon me if I am wrong in the distance thing, but the point isn’t that. I am clarifying so that distance issue doesn’t nullify the main point like Dhoni’s post World Cup press conference where IPL post parties took the centre stage. The point here I am stressing is that it is quite a sight to see the whole of Delhi being dug out. There probably  isn’t a single centimeter of area that is not being beautified/ constructed, or for that matter renovated. I am fortunate to have a metro station just about 100 meters from my PG. it’s a newly constructed one and I was shocked to see that the newly laid pedestrian walkway is replaced by almost similar looking bricks or asbestos (or whatever!). it took me a while to differentiate between the two, and with the Delhi climate where the rain Gods treat us with step motherly affection they all after a few hours look the same.

Coming back to my route- the roads are still the same for the matter at least in the university vicinity. They provide a relief as I can pre-judge the potholes, bumps and everything that makes way for a rider's backache while travelling in a rickshaw. Rest each and everything around the roads are in the construction mode. In a recent newspaper article it was reported that when an RTI was filed by an NGO about the expenditure of the coming common wealth games it was found to have exceeded by a whopping 1700% . I wonder is it  that necessary for the commonwealth games that the whole of Delhi is getting a makeover. What exactly is the necessity to dig your hands into every possible thing around. I mean what is the point of digging out the footpath built only a year ago. Come to my hometown, we still have the footpaths built may be some 50 years ago. What if they are gradually beginning to extinct with time, we are managing well with the roads or by jumping over them.

With the bus fares, metro fares, CNG prices ,room rents ,household commodities etc hiked and new kinds of taxes being levied upon I wonder  are the games  for common wealth ? As of now they are drawing the common wrath of people.

The honorable chief minister mrs.shiela dixit with her third term in the office might be doing a good job no doubt. But she is ultimately behaving as a I am an woman- first attitude. Just like us women before the arrival of some guests clean up every nook and corner of the house and keep doing the same thing until we reach something that is perfect in our eyes.

Take for example the last national games. Assam hosted by far the best national games in the history of India. Awesome stadiums, super games village, overall an enthralling experience that had all the national news papers devoting enough time space to Assam for almost a whole month. Our honorable CM is a man,so we had build only things that are necessary-the stadiums , the games village etc. Our airport is still the same, so is the railway stations , the roads are keeping up the trend of deteriorating  ,not to mention the rain caused floods in the midst of the city since  that is a passé’ after Mumbai and London too submerged into artificial floods. But still we have new malls coming up every two-three months, multiplexes opening up and not to forget the overbridges .

Coming back to Delhi now. I appreciate all the hard work the govt. is doing to project Delhi or for that matter India as ‘new India’ but they must have realized that the work has started quite late. As it’s said -too much to do too little time. It can only be assumed that after CWG either a chunk of people will develop asthma or some real lung disease. I may be the first sufferer though I have survived swine flu successfully but may soon die of asphyxiation if I keep travelling though the dusty lanes of the ‘hell-hi’.(ala Delhi)

A parting thought- India has hosted the Asian games in 1982,which unfortunately was way ahead of the time i was born,so till now barring the cricket world cup this is the first big sporting event Delhi is hosting.Well and good. But I wonder if a commonwealth games draws so much of govt. investment which obviously is the general tax payer's investment from all over the country, then what will happen if India wins the bid for Olympics!

(P.S. Just pouring  in my frustration. I still love Delhi and want the CWC to be a huge success. )

Wish life too had the undo button!

Ctrl+z and Just like that all set in tune again...all that we had done…all the misdoings all the misfires… all gone.. life could have been much beautiful then… since we just have a single life, ctrl+z could have been a better and a simpler option than trying to attain moksha some thousands of kilometers up there in the Himalayas… but only if God was a bit smarter than us.. Had He been born in this age He certainly would have gone for it… Maa tells me in our Hindu mythology there is a phase called ‘kalki age’…it’s the age of filth, inhumanity, of people killing people for greed, in the name of caste n religion ,in the name of freedom ,mother killing daughter for honour and what not ..This is still not enough…when the filth surpasses every possible or for that matter impossible things we have never ever imagined God will come and destroy this world to kill the badness all of us possess..actually to kill the devil in us.. ! I don’t know if it will apply to all religions or not... but there is a word going around in the west too about the world vanishing in 2012.. I don’t know though!

But then I said had God been a bit smarter.. He wouldn’t have to take the pain of doing all these stuff and then again the mammoth task of rebuilding it (not sure if he will really want to)...since he has given us such a complex brain,the ever confusing nerves and all he could have given us the undo option too..

If I had the undo option I could have actually made ma-deta proud.. I could have corrected all the silly mistakes in my examination papers.. I could have put that extra ‘l’ in umbrela..and corrected the final paper’s physics sum.

If I had the undo option I would never have watched the 50+ odd movies before my board exams…

If I had the undo option I could have avoided meeting certain ppl in my life...share some bits of it... Done enough with life’s a teacher theory.. this is one thing I would have seriously done..

If I had the undo option I could have listened to my mind for a change...I probably would have been somewhere else then.. 

If I had the undo option I wouldn’t have said the things that made me repent...that made someone cry because of  me

But then…

If I had the undo option I would have never actually let time move forward.. I would have made time stagnant the day our school summer vacations started… 10 am :cricket field: I Bat ,you Bowl !

Only if I had the UNDO option!

(This one's for you Rashmi Ba. P.S. couldn't wait to wake up and write.Alas i dnt hv the UNDO button ;)...thank you for your ever inspiring words and ur go to sleep one's too!)

the odd hour scribbles!

As someone said-“expect the unexpected “…n hence it’s me in the oddest hour of the night,I meant morning…probably my dad has woken up n is having a sip of coffee, when m struggling  to get my eyes shut… I did try….its not that I dint…it’s been 30 mins or so…but then I thought why not try n gorge on something else  rather than trying to do something which I never could  voluntarily(insomnia did someone say)…

So here I try, 14^th Feb, 2010. Time 05:00 am

14^th Feb.…the hype n hoopla surrounding this day…of course I am no different…I love this day... for some strange reason you may find it to be,it’s been the same day past 23 yrs…not that I was immune to it …but then this day never deceived me… it has been same since the 6^th standard.Pardon the 10^th n 12^th in between…the board exams screwed me up big time…as all I had in my mind was the hormonal regulations governing the entire human race… too busy and occupied to be governed by my own ones. And also before the kuch kuch hota hai era(which was kind of a 9/11 event.. that tickled the millions of teen hearts like no one did ever before ) ,I hardly found this day something to bother about. So it actually started from my 6^{th standard} and has been the same till this odd hour.

So here I start …defining …redefining n ultimately doing what I do best… letting go-

Valentine’s day...or the concept of the valentine...what does it mean to me today…ok let me keep it simple… it’s like the lump in the throat…it’s not there until you realize and the moment you think of it …it takes the hell out of you to get over with it!

Or is it like the best creation ever– The Google... the more u surf the more links you get…the more options you have to choose from… the more confused you become … and all one does is move from pages to pages searching for the perfect link n realizes that its actually left way behind… because the best links are there up front!

So is it the same day every year…probably… may be…as I thought it would be the same… but somewhere around I realized something today that I never did… “There’s a lump in my throat” and I don’t know how to get rid of it!!

i wrote down some lines a few days ago...here they are...

..the rain makes me wonder if nt u than who...if nt this then what...the feb blues the rues .. unsaid .. untied..scattered round...

Scribbled life

Scribbling down my thoughts on a new life

as i begin to

i face lots of junctures...

few to cherish ..n more to get off by

as i try to vandalise them..

i find even more of them..

blindfold me now...

u cn still not get me...

if life is a journey..

i hv travelled it somehow...

i may have been naive...

but i cn see it all now...

try not deceive me...

for i may fall prey...

but it ll be u not me..

who will lose thy faith...

u wont gain it again n again...

given chances u hv proved me wrong always....

dare not to come near by...

God i hate u ... i hate u ....

(written long time back..thought of posting it here.. )

what's on your mind?

Keeping or to say maintaining my hiatus from blogging wasn't a deliberate attempt.(i can swear on all the 'dols' and ponds of sivasagar).I stressed on maintaining because except for some tear jerker's I wasn't able to offer anything substantial. This even is not substantial at all.

The sole reason for my hiatus is - being ‘busy’. People who tend to do nothing actually turn out to be busiest of the lots. Must be wondering whose theory this is.. as obvious..Its mine. Who to expect on my blog page. May be people should give me credit for not borrowing or stealing others philosophies as I tend to make my own..though how silly they might be. I like it that way actually: to observe, relate and then philosophize. As always, exceptions prevail.

Coming back to being busy doing nothing theory, I remember my dad’s schedule… for year’s he started his day at 3 am, wake every one up from his asst. surgeons to anesthetists who assisted him in his operations; finish some 2-3 surgeries before 8’ o clock so that he could reach hospital at sharp 8’o clock…sometimes even before but never late. The sufferer was always maa of course. I and maa would sing pulak banerjee’s “paar hoi gol dhumuha ejak bhangi thoi mur poja”(meaning a cyclone just passed by ransacking my lil hut) every time dad runs down on us. If anyone developed a list stating antonyms of persons.. maa n deta would have been top of the list.mom a usual late riser, who runs late for hospital, meetings ,dinner,lunches n ever possible event. Her mornings starts with the aakashwani radio ,geetimalika ,morning tea, enjoying the morning sun, and enquiring everyone’s wellbeing on phone ..relaxed ..until she hear dad’s car horn. I wonder how maa maintains it till now... Not the relaxed bit but being late!

Coming on to dad’s schedule, his list of treating broken bones, cutting on stitches n wounds to operating every possible organ of the human body continues till 8-9 pm. But the most spectacular thing is that I never heard him saying he is tired or busy. He always managed. He took us to circuses,movies,restaurants.. most of the time me and my cousin brother in school uniforms...but who the hell cared when you have your father-your hero-doing all the bits possible for our smiles!

Being busy is something of a trait of the fellows new to the race of survival or the one’s doing nothing. i am yet not in the rat race so I gracefully fit in the later category.

Doing nothing is obviously something that no one wants to do. That is why I was busy juggling my mind to find ways to come out of the good for nothing syndrome.. Different ideas, fights inside,repentations,depressions,heart breaks n seldom hopes. Too many thins to keep a mind in place.

Apart from these ridiculous yet never ending mind scuffles I was synonymous of being on fb 24*7, updating statuses ,farming n doing other silliest things ppl do thr. But m kind of addicted to those silly things. Whatsoever I turned out to be quite a news freak in these few months of hiatus..i always was, but never was I hooked like this before. With my daily supplement of TOI,HT , I found my true solace in twitter.. neither I have to bother about changing my profile pic,nor making any acquaintances.. it only meant getting the best of views n opinions from the who’s who of the industry…from the newsroom,to the sports arena to ministries and even the film sets… when you can have vir sanghvi n rajdeep sardesai updating about all the events happening around or placing a bet on dhoni , a priety zinta or a priyanka chopra cracking silliest of the jokes to serena Williams n kim clijsters speaking their heart out!( Pure bliss! )n exchanging your ideas with the bigwigs is definitely the icing on the cake for a news geek like me!

Coming out of the virtual social hood as I say, I was following quite deeply the ruckus that is going around these past few months.. the growing menace of naxals, the regionalist vandalism, the border conflicts..so lil bit of my take on them..

we have seen n formed a decision on all these matters..no second thoughts…the naxal extremism n regionalist vandalism must end at any cost… never can one justify extremism .. but then sometimes my occasionally functional rational side of my brain works n it compels me to look at the other side of the story…

Focusing on to Jharkhand – a comparatively smaller state, mostly ignored, poverty sticken,and having one of the lowest literacy rates. but having a CM who has thousands and thousands of crores of assets-making him probably the richest of the CM s in India who was till a few years ago a mine worker.. These don’t fall into the criteria of corruption, it’s a public loot … with relief cheques bouncing ,no infrastructure n proper or non existent primary education system for a state having one of the majority of tribal population it seriously needs a rethink whom to blame for naxal menace…

Secondly, I wonder what’s so special about raj thackrey..who can beat up everyone everywhere.. Strange that we still have a fascist figure in present decade.. a fascist as someone says never fears criticism, hatred nor do mockery…so what to do with such fascism.. I kept myself in the situation for a moment.. lets say for a matter of fact if a abu azmi was in assam…n he vowed to take oath in hindi ..wouldn’t we react! When in another state u aren’t allowed n is made a mockery by a large chunk of population when u speak your regional language (once I was asked by an illiterate flat mate of mine in gurgaon leaving in one of the posh northen states that do we eat momos as our living) …why would one expect to get the royal treatment elsewhere. I am not against any language nor in support of regionalism… but when a distinguished MLA in assam legislature n his kins cant speak assamese properly ,it does anger us … when one is living in a state or a region it should respect the culture there… when u defy to break the sentiments u r bound to get the treatment…but then extremism is never a solution n raj thackrey comes from an another school of extremism..so no comments on him either!

N then there is china’s growing obsession on arunachal ptradesh n india’s equal resistance …no one asking the most ignored state what it wants! Neways I was glad with rahul gandhi’s remark on Pakistan- the way we are so obsessed with the neighbor country..who’s probably the only profound ideology proven is being anti-india..Tragic though to see it burning into flames everyday by its own harvested morons.. may be that’s the state of a nation that was formed in haste..!

N what else ? positives any?? May be the only positives I could draw was watching some great movies…from Al pacino’s godfather trilogy to all the beautiful love stories n the enigmatic cinematic brilliances .. its hard to chose between Mel Gibson and Steven Spielberg.. but then u can hardly beat a Schindler’s list!

I was desperately waiting to get out of this non existent mould and start to blog so I scribed down this . And it came because my mba entrances season kicked off and I took a lay off, my lappie is with jipi as her’s one is in black out mode and hence I have nothing to do.

Then I should be busy right? Am I contradicting my theory. But then didn’t I say “I took a voluntary lay off my mind scuffles today”.

Who said blogs need to be mind boggling every time!

life was beautiful

Life was beautiful…

Roberto benigni’s best creation…and I spoiled it by referring it in past tense…as if the evergreen movie isn’t evergreen any more.. !!

No offence wotsoever.. I just needed something to start the plot..and I couldn’t think of a better title than this one…that so very is synonymous with my present mindset..

Life was indeed beautiful… rewinding my life tape I could hardly see the traces of loneliness or for that matter emptiness… its tough to not let imaginations flow… how hard I try..how hard I try not to think of past…the wonderful unbound memoirs of different relationships keeps flashing by …relationships-most of them without any name…

The rare cordial relationships…which I couldn’t see nowhere around now.. strange faces… smiles subdued in the concrete minds..

When I see the empty walls… the rewind tapes roll again.. I remember our creative wall..the ones we called walls of democracy… the cards flashing by..the gifts hanging around.. many nostalgic photos..and numerous to-do notes…not to forget our very own jipis different passport size photo collection..which made people smile even in the time of distress…

The rewind tapes never cease to flash by… the numerous get togethes we were a part of.. the similar faces.. the ceaseless bonding..the trash talks..

the anarchy in the streets which is nowhere to be seen now… the a-z vendors… the shouts of different ppl… the maddening crowd… the rini symond voice flash sayng "this is vidhan sabha metro station...the doors will open on the left"

..late night movies...between which most of the time jipi falls asleep…n after finishing the movie I narrate her the entire plot even in her deepest sleep… n with u not here I don’t feel like watching anything…

Atri’s Friday call…his updates on new movie releases…dragging us to the silliest of movies… is all part of the rewinding tape now…

me and jipi's fight for the lappie..the nonsensical discussions concerning the virtual world... the spying and the giggles...

2314/5..the protected roof…our guardian in the time of chaos..where we witnessed the best times of our life…

Hopefully everything will be same again… with new life .. new ppl will make the life beautiful again… but the void will remain forever.. hope something would have never changed… only if I could make time static again!

A walk to remember...

Where do I start from …where do I end in...
To start is beyond my reach n to make the end is wot I don’t want to
do… love and life…struggle and survival..learning n knowing… losing
and winning… is some of it I learnt in these four years… It s still
difficult to figure out why I love this place so much… n its equally
starring that it was once the place I hated the most… as some one puts
it so very rightfully… home is whr the heart is… its not the bricks
that makes ur home…it’s the people…n for me… Delhi is delhi for my
frnds n the wonderful ppl I met in here…
May be for so….as we started our voyage as straight out of the school
kids... n then (hopefully) maturing into individuals… independent n
dependent at the same time…
Dependent for may be every lil thing.. for sharng the fun…for having
the tinge of life one passes on to the other.. for the innumerable
stupid stories to tell.. for each n every thng  to say…. For the
bonding which is inevitable… for the love n care all of us live in…
N independent for we knw all this is gng to end … n we all will soon
hv to be the same individuals…like the same out of school kids… will
hv to find our niches again… will have to learn the art of survival…
but the bonding n the life v lived for these years will be missed all
the life… may be it is gone forever….
As its rightfully put in… all good things comes to an end…but life moves on!

Dedicated to all my friends who made my four years stay in delhi cherishable...

love...my way...

I am a terrible blogger for sure when it comes to write something on love…all this months starting from the beginning of the new year I have written almost 10-12 pieces of blogs subjected on love.. n this 10-12 is counted as 0 .50,0.25… sometimes if good luck followed it has reached to 75% completion but nothing beyond that… but I was damn adamant on it that I ll start my blogging this new year on a love note…but since nothing satisfactory was coming up I assigned myself the job of collecting sme old blogs n post them on my blogspot…something on the lines of idea cellular…so that I don’t lose on my readership…just kidding.. as I do most of the times…lets not deviate from the original topic.. I was supposed to write on love…as I wasn’t that successful in portraying this virtue. I thought of writing about some of the celluloid love stories that touched my heart..

 

Starting with the recently released Dev D …the modern day adaptation of  devdas.. I dnt know why so many people hanker after this character… n till date from what I found out dev d was the best adaptation of this novel…the classiest of the lot…pardon bimal roy’s one…coz after watching sanjay leela bhansali’s one I cldnt gather enough courage for bimal roy’s original adaptation…

 

so  going by my take on the characters I felt devdas was actually the weakest man on earth n paro the self centered one…for devdas he couldn’t love neone more than him… n why the society made him a hero is still beyond my imagination…n paro was someone so self centred n egoist that, for her.. matching the stature of the guy who dumped her was more important than salvaging her love for him… for me the third character often seen sidelined-- chandramukhi stood out of the three…the women who loved the man even when she knew that he was never going to be hers … she loved him without expecting anything from him… she found out that within that spoiled rich brat…lied a sensitive person… he wasn’t that selfish… that is the actual essence of devdas…n I loved anurag kashyap for portraying the actual soul of the novel…

 

Talking of love stories…hw can I forget raincoat…the screen adaptation of the short story  theGift of the magi…I already wrote about it in my previous blog…my blogging journey actually started from analyzing the story of raincoat…another is the heart warming story of  ajay devgan-ashwaria rai  in hum dil de chuke sanam…. Adapted from the novel ‘na –hanyate’…

 

All the three celluloid love stories are closest to my heart….don’t know why whenever I think of love I think of them…for me love is like these stories...unconditional…yet not-taken for granted… unselfish…sacrificing… loving the other even when one knows that they are never gonna be together…

 Being  loved.. n being in love ..is definitely two different things..but cn one actually be in love without being loved ..

 Here I shift my focus to i… the ever prodigal i…….the ever prodigal u…

 

Is this wot u call love wen I say the every beep of my cell makes me think of you..

Is this love wen I can see u when I thnk of u..

Is this love wen I feel being in love with you is the most stupidest thing to do …but still I cant help but to love you..

Is this wot u call love when I try hard to avoid ur glares but everytime I try... I am caught by you..

 Is this love…when I dnt knw what the l or the o or the v or the e means..but for me it only means ‘u’…

 Is this love wen I knw u n I cn never be we.. but still cnt help to thnk bout any…..

 Wot is it then..that makes every thng paint blue..make everyone just see you… ther’s nthng I want but happiness for you…

May be great love stories end like this … a sad note… always... 

the chapter between...

The morning tea….the times of india…the sports page…my lappie…the orkut…the face book…..

The blogs…of love…of life.. of dreams..of aspirations..of passions

Being me…the critical…the admirer..the stupid…the emotional…the rational.. the fool…

Maa-deta…my family…my cousins..my frnds..n my stupid jipi..

Mba dreams…the bulk of exams…the quants-verbal-di trio…the gd’s n the pi’s..

The reminiscence of 3 beautiful yrs of DRC…the dissections… the DNA-RNA interactions…
The numbers overshadowing them…the words facing a sword on them…n the interpretations analytically nullifying them…
Yet they never ceases to follow them..

The Hudson lane..the vijay nagar…momos n kamla nagar.. the chicken rolls…the alu tikkis…the Xerox machines of patel chest vicinity..

The TT matches..the fun team… the fest organizing team…RD mams PJs…mam sponsored bunks… the talks..my birthday..the pat 4m my mam..the treats,gifts n the beats..

4 yrs..in delhi…4 yrs of life… the DelhiUniv bylanes..the heritage buildings…my college..the irritating IOB staff…the non-working ATMs..

My pg .. my 2nd home… the ever caring n daunting aunty.. her halws n puris.. makke di rotis n sarso the saags..

My teachers…from school to college…from kakoty mam to renu dinkar mam… the college fests… the nexus…the late nights…n the late mornings

The delhi metro…the cycle rides… the life threatening rickshaws…the non meter functioning autos…the cp’s..the rajouri gardens… the janpaths…the assam stall in dilli hut’s..

The 2nd hand books… the movies in batra…the Sunday special TOI…the last week financial crisis… the front row shows in pvr’s…the akshay’s n the hrithiks…the farhan’s n the aamir’s…

From mohit chauhan’s to angarag…from jasca richter to zubeen…the evenings..the power cuts…the antakshris…the anarchy… the missed tunes…the missing lyrics…

The frndz get together..the assam connection…the bhuj’… the chickens n fishes... the cooks n chefs…of photographs n poses..

The legpullings …the care…the bonding we share… of love n frndship which simply is beyond compare…

I am the third world...

I am I..
I am the 3rd world
They say I am poor..they say I am starved..

Yesterday I tried to build my castle..
n I sweated it out to make it a reality
They broke it n turned it into a heap of ruins…
I lost my dream..
N I am the 3rd world again..

Your paradise renders to heavenly abode…
my paradise speaks of death and sorrow..
I am the 3rd world..

Yesterday I was the messenger of peace..
Today I see scars all over my place…
And as I try to heal them ..
I am the 3rd world again..

Yesterday I offered shelter to you…
I protected you from death..
And all I got to see was lacerations on my left hand..
Today you stabbed me along with my astrayed sons..
As I try to heal my wounds ..
I am the 3rd world again..

You are the 1st world..
You are the nuclear power..
You have 10 zeros to take care of…
But still you sigh at my arm…
you want to take away my sun..
n all I can do is stay mum..
for I am the 3rd world ..
n u are the 1st..

yesterday you n I was I ..
U went away to make a U..
The father showered you with everything you desired for..
U wanted to scrap off my head..
The trackery you regularly indulged in..
Still I tried to move…strenuous it was
But I succeded…
Today you make me stagnant again…

They call me the 3rd world…
I still made my penny..
The only difference being..
You buy food,living,success n happiness..
N I buy arms, military n my security…
N I am the 3rd world again…

Childhood-revisited

The one thing that’s quite peculiar about my blogging is definitely the awful timings.. As I sit down to write this one..i was in the midst of a wwe fight with my room-mate. Readers here are requested not to frown coz its part of our regular schedule now… I have always stressed on the fact that being a single child carries loads of good fortunes n all…but one thing that I always missed was the sibling fights.. Though me n my cousins had ample childhood memories to cherish.. but we never indulged in nethng sort of physical fights.. we were always partners in crime..n always stood up for one another…being together from school to college ..we shared almost everything- our stories, joys, sorrows,gossips,achievements and failures to count the most…. So I missed on the fights…which my friends n all always boasted of …

So at this wee hour what made me write about this stuff…mind it ,its December and its delhi..n in this part of the world n time its quite unusual for someone to sweat …n m on the verge of switching on the fan too…all this is the effect of the fierce wwe fight me n my roomie(ok ll address her by name-jipi) indulged in just some moments back.. there was nothing actually that made us fight…its just that suddenly we were overjoyed that my b’day is round the corner n it made us glad… !!

Being the very me …it was unusual to share a room with somebody coz I never ever shared nethng before...but these 3 yrs has made me explore the other side of me-my childhood… from playing wwe..to play cricket matches in the room..with the tennis ball v brought from the ultra sweet shopkeeper down the road…. He never gave us single maggi..coz he knew soon one of us have to come down again to get the other pack..(reason the temptation resisting power between the two of us is almost negligible…and one enjoying the delicious maggi without the other is almost nearly impossible)…

Coming on to tennis balls…we once brought a big plastic ball from India gate..n how v cherished it for long…jipi would play almost everything wid it ---from cricket to volley ball to tennis( she spared table tennis though)..Until the ball sunked beyond recognition…

Counting of weird acts how could I forget the insane verbal fights—which soon boils down to physical assaults.. orkut inspired chicks v r….we have our own slapstar kinda game.. where we can slap each other countable no.of times n pretend to cry everytime one of us knw that we r going to lose the game…

How could I frget the last game that v played down for nearly 2 months until it came to a sad end wen Diana hayden went out off bigg boss2..yes u guessed it correct..it was indeed bigg boss2.. cooking was never so fun… ve made lists as if we were given weekly budget by bigg boss.. Diana hayden was our idol big time.. but with her ouster from the show we bid adieu to the game as well..

The wild shutterbugs v are… I beg pardon coz I have lost count on the innumerable movies v imitated n lived after watchng the 1st day 1st shows..the hangover in this case takes toll on jipi specially…the fashion hangover is still to fade away.. this definately excludes the frantic horror flicks we dared to watch... wot if we watched it in the afternoon ..n turned off the sounds..n fast forwarded the scenes to knw what actually happened n then rewinding n see it ...n wot if we began the movie with the last scene ... atleast we could flaunt it big time...seeing a horror flick n flaunting it among frnds is what mattered n not obviously the circumstances ..right!!

Coming on to games our favorite game always have to be the antakshri…its very special n peculiar at the same time coz evrytime v play it..v never allow the person to even complete the 1st line…n the other starts singing …this goes hardly for first 5 mins… n after that jipi comes over wid her own lyrics…our antakshri is the same since 3 yrs…coz wen its ‘..na’…we still sing na na karte pyar tumhise kar baethe… n wen its ‘ha’…its always s hum tum ek kamre main bandh ho… the only new addition to the list is ek hasina thi…which made a re-entry into our antaksrhi …after hee mesh bhai made us remind it…

But we do have our sensitive sides too… wen we r in mood to talk of our past muses( I have hated the word crush…coz it always ended in a crash…surely the phonations r similar too)…ve let open the doors n sit in the lustrous balcony n begin singing the song dhowe dhowe(by papon da) evry time…n evry time without exception we fumble on the lyrics or the tune...or for that matter who was out of tune…n its cut sort by arguments about who actually forgot the lyrics… jipi usually had her own lyrics which she can fit into every tune… her common being “dum dad a dum” which she soulfully incorporates into any song when she couldn’t recollect the lyrics(its generally every time)… howewr even if we remember the lyrics the urgent surge of who ever sings the nxt line before the other ,makes us surpass the other n soon we found ourself out of sync...

Getting back to another fantasy…painting..the urge for painting comes up everythime v have an exam… some time ago v brought water colours n white sheets to paint sceneries.. we two are not even nearer to be termed an average painter ..but still we had our chances with the brushes n colors…while jipi would draw her trademark miss India models… I always drew the only scenery I knew…but some how ,everytime we get back to our childhood again…

Our stories like our dreams never ceases to end… like the no of same typical trademark photographs we click …I think if we made them paper printed ..it would weigh in kilos.. n the very striking feature of our photography is that .. wen it comes to photographs we dnt carry any mercy for the other… so generally they have to be self clicked of self timed…

Never knew that friendship has this side as well…or never knew that I could find a sister in my friend.. life has been very generous to me till now ..the only void I had has been filled .. for me I have to thank God for letting me relive my childhood again!!

Politically Correct..

When u will ask me what my political view is.. I would rather prefer to say it depends..! before gtng directly into the topic….here I would like to thank a premier university for giving me a topic for my blog.. I was helping my room-mate in some topics in her course…when I came through a very interesting part… It read- only the communists in India have ideologies…rest parties are all swallow hypocrites..!!

Communists- and their ideologies… its been 21 long years of my existence n I still haven’t seen communists ruling the nation …not atleast during the interim period also… barring west Bengal which have been trying to set a record by electing the communists time n again…I seriously don’t think they have any choice in that regard also..mamta banerjee is one helluva women who would prefer to end her life in a pair sarees than to let go her egoist attitude…
The only communist I have some sincere regards is definitely mr.buddhadeb bhattacharya… but in a state like west Bengal…full of orthodox intellects he hardly can do anything…

A famous saying goes -'walk the talk'… how very true!!.. West Bengal boasts of the hard core orthodox communists.. who can have their say in almost every topic on this earth… but have they ever seen the pity of their own state…west Bengal is one of the poorest state of the nation.. the most populous… that what happens when orthodox tradition binds with stubbornness along with pseudo egoist attitude of some people overlooking the national interests…

Keeping on their ideologies intact…its interesting that all their manifestoes boasts of others failures…they still talk of Gujarat riots…but sir have you seen Gujarat now… 6 yrs bygone it is now one of the safest place to be in.. see the tourist influx… all big corporates hankering after Gujarat…for a state hit by riots,cyclones,earthquake…its really commendable… I have never seen a gujrati beggar for sure…apart from that Gujarat boasts of the premier institutions of the country… the only difference being they don’t find pleasure in others failure…

When I say my political view depends…I seriously mean that..i am not here to lash at the communists…but the way they try to infuse communist sentiments in every person possible is what I am against of… stop bickering…..
Once you were almost on the verge to get the govt. down on the nuke deal issue… why not you speak for the illegal immigrants issue…bring them down!!... as your ideologies go by national interests n not concerning foreign issues… it will highly be commendable on your part to raise the voice against illegal migrants issue in the same intensity as u did against the nuke deal…as its known to everyone that your own ruling state boasts of heavy chunk of illegal Bangladeshi labourers…let aside thinking of other states…

The communists have been trying to make a foray into national politics since ages… the coalition with UPA could not bear any fruits…the only reason for their union was for stopping the so called religious forces from coming into power…n not for anything else..they talk of the poor,the starved.. can ne starved ,poverty ridden family prosper by stopping a party in the name of religion… how ridiculous!..
The same goes with the communist student wings… I got hold of a pamphlet at the India gate some days ago… it was of some communist student party who was in power… n wot I found out in their manifesto was quite surprising… despite depicting what they have done for the university in their tenure…or laying their future agendas…it was all bashing up the other parties… how far is it acceptable when even being in power they are busy playing the blame-game…

Why do we elect you then…. We don’t want another west Bengal.. we want to live n not starve… we cant live on protests n andolans for the whole of our life…

I do carry rightist point of view…but even then also I would not like to mar the communist existence…the communist dominance has started fading away… n in a prosperous state there needs to be a moderation of everything… the peaceful co-existence of both capitalism n socialism… we can no longer depend entirely on our agriculture.. nor do we want the sensex points to rule our lives… so give us something so that we can look after u people…so that we can find the moderation…or else the term communism will soon fade away… and we will be left with the sensex arrows… either exponential highs or exponential lows…

let us take the decision.. don’t force us… let your deeds speak not your words!!

imported barrenness..

Its been quite a while since the last time I penned down something …not only on my blog but elsewhere also…It wasn’t so that I didn’t wanted to but the actual reason was nothing was coming out from my mind’s stable…

So desperately I wanted to get out of this phase…which my roommate very modestly termed as writer’s block phase... it gave me quite a flattering boost… but being very pragmatic myself (once again a term coined for me by someone anonymous) I realize that I am far from being coined as a writer…so the question of me going through that phase is insubstantial…

I could owe my temporary/permanent (I hope its temporary) barrenness up to quite an extent to my restlessness…being a typical small-town, mom’s girl, an ex-school topper (stress on the word ex) we were not allowed to do any sort of things except study during our exam days… all activities were barred one month before the exams…may be I am still not able to get out of this habit… I am still a mom fearing person (a god fearing one too)! When I say activity it surely does not include the sleeping hours or the kutting or booking hours…coz they are surely not activities..neither practically nor verbally .

I was in the midst of my afternoon nap (m not a regular,mind that)..i was thinking of our craze for anything that is imported…from imported guys to movies to anything that’s foreign…coz for god’s sake how can one go gaga over the Korean movie my sassy girl…there are 1001 hindi n regional love stories that are way superior than it… I am not saying it’s a bad movie…but how can it by any standards can it be termed the classiest…moving on to movies again I could not find the logic behind the bollywood producers to shot in exotic foreign locals…most of the time they prove disasters.. I can guarantee that there can never be a Kali mandir in Kenya !!(as boasted by hee-mesh bhai in …zzzzzzzzzzz)..these kinda unrealistic movie making though can create a sporadic high but it wont last ne longer..

talking of imported craze...it wld be incomplete without mentioning abut the prospective NRIgrooms… “He s an nri u see.. u know wot he does there?.... Nah…!!...but I knw he is an NRI!..” …God forbid all you elitists!..( hope he doesnt work for lehman brothers)..All you super intelligent IAS..all u IITians..n the CAT toppers… u still aren’t at par with the NRIs…the only reason for this is that they are imported..n u all need to keep on working on ur CV's...!

Hold on hold on…I am not a communist by any means(as my foreign description includes very much the communist nations too)…and neither I have any hatred towards the imported things… Coming on to imported goods for that matter…I still have the expired lipgloss that my cousin bought for me from the U.S…
…as being a part of the typical billions of dreamers. I too crave for u.. as if I cant clear my management entrances this year..I will surely vouch for the foreign universities anytime…for after that atleast I will be cherished forever!!!